Brain injury 101: Ramblings from the Broken and hurting

Words escape me now, as I try to express the deep sadness in my heart. There are things I want to say and yet the words are trapped inside my head.

Have you ever felt that way? Your lack of words, or too many words spoken in haste or anger, have left your relationship or marriage on a precarious edge.

Those of us who have suffered any degree of traumatic brain injury tend to hide our feelings. When asked “ how’s it going?”, we often answer “fine.” But are we? I suspect if you are like me, you’re not. Oftentimes the constant pain we deal gets the better of us and we are just out of sorts.

And when we are dealing with the hurt and pain, we unexpectedly hurt the people closest to us. Hurting people hurt people. It’s a sad fact of life. And I tend to forget the one closest to me has deep feelings too. He also hurts. And me, in my pain, hurt him more. I don’t mean to.

So for the outsiders, we put on the happy face, and the ones closest to us hurt, just like us. What do we do? How do we repair or stop this crazy cycle?

First off, self examination. I do this a lot. 😢. I think I’m the one who has been wronged, yet in reality, in my selfishness, I seem to have caused my own problems.

It’s difficult at best, to understand the world of TBI, post concussion syndrome and PTSD. Some outside incident triggers something in our rewired brains and we cease functioning as we want. All hell breaks loose in our lives and emotions. and we spiral down to a pit of despair.

I want to give you answers. However, it’s hard when I myself, am searching for those answers. Just know, you’re not alone. I walk this fine line with you. I empathize with what you’re going through.

I do turn to Jesus, a lot. Many are the discarded tissues as He and I have our conversations. He helps me with my self-examination. He reminds me that to walk with Him is to walk in pain and brokenness. BUT, in the end, I will walk with Him in victory. No more pain, no more tears. Beauty from ashes, as I wait His glorious return.

So, Friend, should you have any words of wisdom to share with me or my readers, please leave a comment. Even if you or a loved one doesn’t struggle with a brain injury, you may find yourself in the same boat. Broken and hurting and not knowing where to turn.