REWIRED – finding joy by renewing your mind

My Search for Joy

When I was first diagnosed with a brain injury, Romans 12:2a came to mind. “And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (KJV). This verse gave me hope with this news that came six months after my accident. However, even with this verse in mind, it has been a continual struggle for me to maintain the joy I so desire. Since my diagnosis seven and a half years ago, I continued to feel broken, less than normal – rejected. My life changed and I struggled to accept it.

I tried to inspire others, clinging to the hope that when I take my eyes off myself and serve others, the joy will come. Alas, the darkness still enveloped me. The songs I once sang, songs of worship eluded me (still do). So many things have taken place in my life these past years… so many changes. Yet one thing seemed constant – the joy eluded me. (Unspeakable Joy!! What is that?)

My Ah-Hah Moment

Then, the light bulb just lit up! Joy is not a feeling, it is a choice. It is the choice to walk DAILY with Jesus and accept His peace regardless of my feelings. You see, feelings lie. I have to let go of the past and the accident that caused my brain injury. It happened. It is part of my history, but it does not define me.

When I chose Jesus as my Savior at the tender age of 12, the Holy Spirit came to live in me. It is He, the third member of the Trinity, that is my joy. Jesus said He would never leave nor forsake me. I may turn my back on Him, but He is always present, always calling me back to Himself. I don’t have to “feel” Him, I just have to remember He is there. As stated in Nehemiah 8:10, “…The joy of the LORD is my strength.”

My mTBI may have been a defining moment in my life, but it no longer defines me. No longer do I have to “feel” broken and disabled. For you see, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works. He is my peace, He is my joy.

Rewiring my Brain

For the remainder of my days, I will strive to continue to rewire and heal my brain by being in communion with the One who made me. When darkness descends upon my spirit, I will call out to Him who redeemed me and called me by name (Isaiah 43:1b). I will run with endurance the race set before me, fixing my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross for me, despising the shame and Who is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1b-2 NASB1995).

Will you join me in this journey? (https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/)